Guess what, I have the best luck ever. Remember my last post. ABout my tonsil swelling up. Yeah. Abcessed tonsil. Really rare thing to happen. That is what the doctor told me. Not so rare for me. Happened AGAIN! It burst day before yesterday. Never taken to doctor this time. I'm not worth the $250.00 for the surgery. I spent Monday curled up on the couch crying. Fluid diet. It was horrible. The swelling had gone down. It is swelling up again. And on top of that, still can't open my mouth very wide. Means no biting. Means very little food. What it really means is alot of pain for me. But I am not worth the $250.00 to get the surgery and fix the pain and the suffering I have to go through. Everytime I yawn I am brought to tears. Sleep is like a joke. I wake up in the middle of the night crying because it hurts. I am so sick of all of this pain.




Well if any one is wondering, here is my schedule.

Sunday: Work: 2:00pm to 9:00pm
Monday: School: 12:30pm to 4:40pm
Tuesday: School: 12:30pm to 4:40pm, Work: 5:00pm to 9:pm
Wednesday: School: 12:30pm to 4:40pm, Work: 5:00pm to 9:pm
Thursday: School: 12:30pm to 4:40pm, Work: 5:00pm to 9:pm
Friday: School: 12:30pm to 4:40pm, Work: 5:00pm to 9:pm
Saturday: Work: 8:00am to 1:00pm - 2:00pm to 9:00pm

(Now to those of you who do not have jobs, and never have, The end time for work when working at a restraunt is ussually an hour later than when your schedule says you will get off. This is VERY true in my case. So go ahead and add an hour to the end time. I will let you so you can see my scheduled hours though.)




One last little F.Y.I. my 18th birthday is Sunday. I work on my birthday but I would love "Happy Birthday" comments. On here and MySpace!! (( www.myspace.com/sheerblackrose )) Thanks bunches. K well I am exhausted and have school and work tomorrowm as you should already know. So night all.

Lots of love,
Cat

Within Temptation - All I Need

I’m dying to catch my breath
Oh why don’t I ever learn?
I’ve lost all my trust,
though I’ve surely tried to turn it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don’t tear me down
You’ve opened the door now, don’t let it close

I’m here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I’m only one step away
from turning it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me
Make my heart a better place

I tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away, don’t break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear
Don’t tear me down

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me
Make my heart a better place
Make my heart a better place



















Within Temptation - What Have You Done

Would you mind if I hurt you?
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
than to harm the one I love

What have you done now!

I know I’d better stop trying
You know that there’s no denying
I won’t show mercy on you now
I know, should stop believing
I know, there’s no retrieving
It’s over now, what have you done?

What have you done now!

I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away... oh
(What have you done now!)
Why, why does fate make us suffer?
There’s a curse between us, between me and you

What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!

Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I tried to?
Cause you have turned into my worst enemy
You carry hate that I don’t feel
It’s over now
What you done?

What have you done now!

I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away... oh
(What have you done now!)
Why, why does fate make us suffer?
There’s a curse between us, between me and you

What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
What have you done now, What have you done?...

I will not fall, won’t let it go
We will be free when it ends

I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away... oh
(What have you done now!)
Why, why does fate make us suffer
There’s a curse between us, between me and you

I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away... oh
(What have you done now!)
Why, why does fate make us suffer
There’s a curse between us, between me and you




















Within temptation - Angels

Sparkling angel I believed
You were my savoir in my time of need.
Blinded by faith I couldn’t hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.

I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now,
No mercy no more.
No remorse cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart.

Chorus:
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they would turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.

Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intensions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?

I see the angels,
I’ll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now,
No mercy no more.
No remorse cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart.

Chorus:
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they would turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

This world may have failed you,
it doesn’t give you reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.

The smile when you tore me apart.

You took my heart,
deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they would turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

























Within Temptation - Memories

In this world you tried
not leaving me alone behind.
There's no other way.
I prayed to the gods let him stay.
The memories ease the pain inside,
now I know why.

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments imagine you here.
All of my memories keep you near.
Your silent whispers, silent tears.

Made me promise I'd try
to find my way back in this life.
I hope there is a way
to give me a sign you're ok.
Reminds me again it's worth it all
so I can go on.

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments imagine you here.
All of my memories keep you near.
Your silent whispers, silent tears.

Together in all these memories
I see your smile.
All the memories I hold dear.
Darling, you know I will love you
until the end of time.

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments imagine you here.
All of my memories keep you near.
Your silent whispers, silent tears.

All of my memories....






























Within Temptation - Our Farewell

In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling you worry too much
My child, see sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are

Never thought
This day would come so soon
We had no time to say goodbye
How can the world just carry on?
I feel so lost when you are not at my side
But there's nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling you worry too much
My child, see sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are

So sorry your world is tumbling down
I will watch you through these nights
Rest your head and go to sleep
Because my child, this is not our farewell.
This is not our farewell.

Ok, to clear a few things up. Nick and I are broken up. That is over. Ok. I live in an apartment in Irving off of Belt Line and Country Club with Rooster and Phil. Bri, Rooster and Phil have pretty much become my family here. If any one wants to contact me, call or text me. Don't have my number, ask me for it. This exact message is on my xanga and my myspace, as a blog and a bulletin. I did not drop out of school. I did leave Mac though. I go to afternoon classes at Winfree. Which i from 12:30 to 4:40 for those who don't know. So don't call during those times. Texting is ok though. Ok, I think that covers every thing. If you have any questions that need answering, just ask me. Thanks guys and gals. Love you my friends.

-Cat-